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©00 The Media Desk

  1. Estrogen is NOT a license to whine.

  2. Talking more does not make the female right.

  3. Pink shirts with white collars do not look good on most men.

  4. If the female has to ask if it makes her look fat. It does.

  5. A twenty-minute speech about the male's poor spending habits should not be followed immediately by, "I saw this adorable sweater and it was on sale and..."

  6. If the female wishes to discuss in depth any of the following; diapers, pantyhose, a soap opera, the Fergussin's vacation, hair styles, shopping, needlepoint, or a new diet, she should be prepared to also discuss in equal detail for the same amount of time the following; the White Sox middle relief pitching staff, the best carburetor for a rebuilt 429 hemi, the maneuverability ceiling of the F-16 vs Mig-29, the search for the Lost Dutchman Mine, the Rolling Stones or The WHO, and deep water trolling for game fish.

  7. Females too can learn to read a map.

  8. Tofu and breadfruit are not substitutes for real food.

  9. The toilet seat also goes up.

  10. Nagging doesn't work. Nagging doesn't work. Nagging doesn't work.

  11. If the female doesn't want the embroidered towels used, don't put them out.

  12. If the male wanted Aunt Irma and Cousin Beauvadene, and the deli lady, and the preacher's wife, and the woman across the alley, and half the PTA and ol' what's her name to know, he would have told them himself.

  13. Just because the female doesn't like it doesn't mean it's a mortal sin.

  14. No, the man does not care what so-and-so said on whichever talk show was on today.

  15. The female should never, never ever, never ever ever, assume the man's greatest desire is to attend a home demonstration party of; candles, containers, kitchen gadgets, baskets, decorations, crafts, or makeup. If the female does, she should immediately schedule and attend a home demonstration party of; computer parts, fly fishing gear, power tools, home brewing, gourmet cigars, or hobby class dragster building.

  16. Your family did it that way for generations. OK. So?

  17. The thing in this world that most needs improving is not the male's habits or personality.


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