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????"Unbutton your beast"????

©08 The Media Desk

      It's only been a few months since the Desk's last jog around this brushpile... "TV Producers Hate Men" (see link below) ... but even so, a couple of advertisers have worked overtime to hit even lower lows insulting men, and their viewers intelligence in general, with their new ads and shows.
      So we'll do it again with some fresh examples collected over the last couple of weeks.
      But this time around, the leading offender isn't just a TV ad, it's also fully animated and interactive internet ad with a supporting outside campaign.
      To wit:

Animated figures pop out of a pair of Levis 501 button fly jeans after making the front of the pants bulge and move and then make various obnoxious noises. These figures include:
Trout Troutman (a fish wearing a tie), Paul the Pincher (a crab claw with bling), Sock Nasty (a punk sock puppet, also with bling), cookie the cougar (some sort of monster vaguely resembling a prawn), Sir Reginald Mighty Pants (a knight), Donkey Ramon (a piņata), Honky Tonk Hank (a biker pig), D. Lerious (which is a hand puppet with makeup over a figure in a straightjacket), and Saucy Sal (meatball sub (a hot dog would have been what? too much?)).
      You can pick your 'beast' then pick either the pre-recorded message or record your own, and then email it to your family and friends who can come to the site to see your 'beast', record their own, and.. presumably, be spammed by Levis for the rest of their lives.

[NOTE: the Desk did email the Levi Strauss & Company USA with the obvious question "what were you thinking?" but it has yet to hear back from them. The Desk DID NOT 'create a beast'.]

      This all comes after another Levi's 501 commercial that asked that all important question to anybody that buys blue jeans : "do you wake her, tell her you love her?"
      And their answer appeared to be: "no... leave your underwear hanging out, yes."

      And, oh, if the old jeans maker was the only offender.

      Let's look at a few more and name some more names.
      First off.... Every One Of These features a White Man, we'll get to the black guy ad in a moment, yes there are a very precious few of them out there, but portraying a black man as anything except as a "articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy" is racist, and you know it.

  • Safeauto Insurance: "nervous" screaming guy that hides under his desk and runs out of a restaurant because he didn't call Safeauto.
  • Banquet: woman feeds her husband with train sounds to "comfort him with memories of childhood" because their dinners are so inexpensive. (and how much sodium per serving is comforting?)
  • Pepto Bismol: a woman holding a dog is on the phone to somebody because her husband ate dog treats, along with everything else in the house, and now has an upset stomach.
  • Windex: the ad says they "can't make everything brighter" after a man runs into a plate glass door.
  • Dunkin Donut's: states the idea of the "smartest thing you do all day" for a young man is to order their egg white flatbread sandwich.

      Oh... there's more.....
  • Willis Furniture of the tidewater Virginia area has a naked guy reading the newspaper while waiting on a delivery.
  • State Farm Insurance thinks that NFL fans are idiots that sing 'Sunday' songs on their way to the game.
  • Lowes even tops perpetual offender Home Depot with their ad about "new roof, new fence, back yard" guy with wife who crosses arms and gives him That look to instantly change his mind about going even further into debt. It's like they think the government will bail them out once they end up in hock up to their eyes. ... ... oh, yeah.

      And now for our token black man ad to prove they do exist, it's part of an overall campaign that demonstrates what a restaurant chain thinks of their customers.
      What is the message behind the Red Robin hamburger ads? That a white man will beat up a robot for a plastic model hamburger? At least it is a black man that takes a bite of the '5 alarm burger' in another spot.

      It's as if the producers are playing that agonizing improvisational theater training game "Yes, and..." where the first person said 'All men are morons', and the next one answers 'yes, and they have to have the latest trendy thing', to which the third one says 'yes, and they have money to give us no matter what we think of them', and so on until somebody's teeth falls out.

      Really. Has anybody actually watched some of the sit-coms, and even dramas like Lost and paid attention to how the men on those shows are portrayed? Either as macho strutting one second from violence jerks or as whinny pushover idiots who need their eight year old kid to keep them on track.

      OK. Enough. To the point.

      How about this?

      That Men. Real men......
          ...those that get up in the morning and go to work and pay their bills and have NEVER ordered Italian leather driving gloves off QVC unless it is a last minute Christmas Gift for somebody that has to be shipped overnight priority to get there on time.
      Guys who don't give a damn what anybody that has ever been on Dr. Phil or "the View" says.
          ...the ones that know damned good and well that when it comes right down to it, they will be the ones to work and put the country back together again once Congress gets done screwing it up.
          ... Men. Husbands. Fathers. Real Life Everyday Guys. Who Are NOT Metrosexuals or anything of the sort and thought the original Rat Pack had the right idea.....


      That Men Start Acting the way TV Producers, Commercial Writers, and the New York/Hollywood bosses THINK they already are, as portrayed in the shows and commercials those people put out.


      The Desk actually proposed that idea to its wife and daughters, and they responded with:
      "You couldn't do that."

      And they were right. The Desk couldn't.
      But it is an interesting idea isn't it?

Somebody tell CBS that the 'dead parrot' gag was done Long Ago and Much Better by the Monty Python troupe.

And ENOUGH with the black and white commercials where the product is highlighted in color.

....and enough with this article, need to save something for next time.


The Desk's TV producers hate men article as mentioned above....
And another one and "Flame On"- the first one.

[NOTE: The Desk is NOT affiliated with any of the companies mentioned in this rant. All names are trademarked by their owners and are registered to them, no infringement of copyright or trademark is intended. If any company so named in this piece can demonstrate they don't think men are proof of evolution, their identifying name and information will be removed. Thank you.
             Doc L]

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